Nearly 10 Years Later

Wow... first post in a long minute. I feel the need to preface my blog with a recent post eplaining all the crazy that was my life back then. But part of me wants to just let it stand. Ive gone back and read a few posts and some... are still too painful to touch, even now. Maybe one day.

Anyway, take my past with lots of salt. (Perhaps a drink with a salty rim?) Its not for the faint of heart. It makes sense if you stop looking for sense. Its raw, its loud. Its ... me, then and scariest of all me perhaps still to this day.

If you scare easy, then stay away. But if you enjoy laughs, dig in.


TheBrownGirl 

Its.. its... a BIRD!

Living alone certainly has its advantages: peace & quiet, ample closet space, and sole custody of the remote control. However, sometimes it has its disadvantages: you have to kill bugs yourself, no one can hand you a towel when you're in the shower, you cant blame anyone else for the mess in the kitchen, and sometimes its creepy coming home to an empty house.

On most occasions the noises I hear upon entry after being outside can be filed away under "House settling/Wind". Ive finally come to a point where I feel secure enough to make this statement and believe it. Wednesday night I believed in it a bit TOO much.

As soon as I walked in I heard a scuffle-like noise from the rear of the house. I stopped, listened for ... breathing?, and then proceeded to put my stuff down and carry on.

...and then I heard a DISTINCT crash come from my utility room. Followed by an UNMISTAKABLE loud bang.... Ok the loud BANG was my heart exploding against my chest cavity.

OK split-second IM-SO-GOING-TO-DIE thoughts? Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, THERES SOMEONE IN MY APARTMENT! Theres someone who's trying to ESCAPE through the back door in my utility room!?!?!? The door is double-locked -- he'd need a key to get out!! What do I do?!

What do I do? Disregard the mace on my keychain and grab the CLOSEST thing near me --- a PLASTIC knife!

... and I make my way to the rear of the apartment making as much noise as possible in hopes of alerting the intruder of the fact theyve been found! -- this is the same time I look down and notice the PLASTIC FREAKKIN KNIFE in my hand.

I get to the door and I hear a squeak -- I SWEAR TO GOD -- and I feel like Ive gone insane. THAT is NOT how a HOUSE settles! I come closer and I catch a glimpse of something through the vents in the door --- something small moving around -- OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYEWWWWWGODDDD its a MOUSE! --- OR A RAT! A nasty disease infested rat!

I realize that the incessant scuffle is because the creature has gotten stuck to a sticky bug strip and now is incapable of running away. I realize I have to find out what it is -- so I open the door -- a crack and notice a plastic cup I keep on the toppest shelf is on the ground. I finally look behind the door and notice --- A BIRD! A poor little disgustingly nasty sweet bird is stuck and shaking.

My professor came down from upstairs and successfully pealed the bird off the tape and then we set it free and it flew away. I felt like such a good person because the bird lived.

Oddly enough, this story comes at the eve of the NFC Championship game between two birds -- the Philadelphia Eagles, woohoo --- and the Arizona Cardinals -- boohoo!!

Alls I gotta say is: GO EAGLES! :D

GO EAGLES -- ONE WIN AWAY!

More Doodles Again

Self-portrait

I wonder when I can actually start calling it art instead of doodles. :D

Porn Yesterday - Storytime Monday

Call me old school but Ive never given up on cds. Yes, I own an iPod nano - sleek black piece of 2 gig goodness, but I just cant live without my cd player: bulky, complicated, forever-skipping, 10 song playing cd player.

If you think that's bad wait til you see my headphones. They're of the 80s walkman variety - don't remember? Im talking about the fit over the crown of your head, bad-hair-day-giving, self-adjusting, ear-muff-look-alike headphones. (Don't send help -- Im ok with all this.) The biggest problem with headphones like these is wear and tear. The headphones are crap --- they break every other Tuesday.

The real problem, however, is finding replacements in center city within walking distance of the hospital. Ever since I moved to the city there is one place Ive always gone because the headphones are dirt cheap, about $2.99. Earlier I blogged about this place and how I freaked out (and almost outed a hospital employee) when I realized the store is actually a dirty video store (Im not sure you can call it porn, but I will for the sake of simplicity) and the electronic stuff in the front of the store is actually a front to seem legit.

I'm in a crunch one day, strapped for cash and incapable of boarding my train without something to listen to to drown out all the voices in my head, so I decide to go back to said store, swearing to myself it'll be the last time. Yeah, I realize every warm-blooded American has made this same statement at one point in his life -- or every Tuesday. :P

Most shady places have patrons that wish to keep a low profile, so how is it when I walk in -- Franky -- I'll call him Franky cuz it's just the sleaziest name I can come up with and seriously this guy looks it -- calls me out to his partner, and one shopper in the back looks up to notice too?

Franky: Heyyyyyy, beautiful! Its one of my regulars.

Now mind you, I was BORN yesterday so I dont put all of this together until the very end: the shady place, me -- the regular customer...

Me: Im hooked, literally (laughing alone at my weak pun). I feel like I live here, but they broke again. I need a new pair.

...and my admission of my guilt in public! Good job, TBG, really. I dont need others to start rumors about me -- I do great on my own.

As Im walking out, HEAD DOWN/BROWN ambiguous plastic bag in hand, I see the unmistakable teal green swath of fabric in sneakers. OMG OMG OMG -- scrubs!? -- the sneakers were turned away from me so I mustered up some courage to look up -- HEY if rumors get started Id like to have a face to go with them right?

Please let it be some random white guy, please let it be some random white guy. And then my heart stops as I take in slicked back, jet black hair.

Ugh. Thats all I need in the new year -- some desi guy thinking I have an addiction.

DAMN FRANKY!

More Doodles

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

BDAWK, heart & soul of the Eagles' D

Round Rotis that'll STING ya!

My rotis bring all the boys to the yard
Damn right!, they're rounder than yours! :D